Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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