I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
