Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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