life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
