just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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