Fine. I'll sleep in my office
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
