and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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