I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
