Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I think your dad took our porno
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
