No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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