Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
