Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize