How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
