Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
