How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
