some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize