but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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