Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
