I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize