My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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