I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
