when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
