When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
