Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
