1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
