I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
