honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
This is my gift to your gina
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
