I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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