Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
