I wish I could punch you in the face.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
