Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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