dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
