i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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