Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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