I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
