You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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