someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
