So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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