How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
