YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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