He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
