? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
