Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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