It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
