Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
