Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
