a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
