She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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