i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
