I hate your face
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
