They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
