Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
