It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
