Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
