After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
