If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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