I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
