She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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