Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
