What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
